Monday, March 16, 2009

Buying Your Metrocard

Since they retired tokens several years ago, and due to the long lines and bad attitudes of MTA employees, buying a subway pass often requires you to use an automated machine. Press start, choose whether you want to ride once or an unlimited amount of time, plug in the duration of time you would like your card to be active for, and when prompted, pay in either cash or with a card. I couldn’t care less.

 

What is important about purchasing an MTA pass is that when you do so, do it fast. Know how long you need your pass for, and have the cash or credit card ready to insert. Try to avoid testing all of your existing passes before purchasing your MTA pass during morning rush hour, if at all possible. People need to get to work.

 

Also, be aware that unlimited Metrocard rides are intended for one-person use. To help ensure this, the MTA maintains a 17-minute window between swipes. If you accidentally enter the wrong side of a subway station or otherwise screw up while entering, you can either wait it out, use a single-ride pass, or throw yourself upon the mercy of whichever subway attendant is around to open the gate for you.

 

If you are visiting the city with your entire family and having a hard time navigating the machine, please ask your relatives to move to the side, so other people who know what they are doing can quickly assist you and get you the hell out of their way. If possible, have the one person who knows what they are doing swipe family members in, one at a time, and hold on to the card. That way, the next time you ride, you don’t have to go through a three-card monte to figure out where the hell you all put your Metrocards.

 

When swiping your Metrocard, hold it so the word “Metrocard” is visible to you, and move it through the slot in a single, fluid movement. Be sure not to go too fast, or too slow. The digital readout will let you know if either has occurred. If this is new to you, be sure to glance at the reader to make sure your swipe registered before entering, or else you will smash your nuts into an immobile metal bar.

 

In the case that the message reads “swipe card again at this turnstile,” follow that advice. Moving to another turnstile will likely void your ride. Similarly, when entering through a circular gate turnstile, be sure to walk forward only after swiping your Metrocard. Pulling the gate back or forward, even slightly, will make the mechanism believe a rider has passed through, and you will be stuck outside the gate.

 

In the case of subway stations where there are only circular gates, patrons entering the station have priority over those exiting. Because many riders are unaware or unconcerned about this rule, if you are preparing to enter and hear a train arriving, it would be wise to hustle. Those exiting will not often extend the courtesy of allowing you to enter while they are exiting, and as is often the case in life, majority rules.

 

When exiting subway turnstiles, push gates at a moderate speed with your hand to control backlash. Advanced riders may also employ the slide-step move, in which the lead foot advances, while the back foot slides, propelling the body smoothly through the gates.

 

When exiting circular gates, be careful not to go too fast, or the back-bounce will clip your heels and leave a nasty mark, like breaking in new shoes. Use caution when exiting through these gates with large packages or umbrellas; items easily get enmeshed in rungs, leaving you temporarily trapped. In the case of large items, strollers, or carts, exit via the emergency gate. Push the bar, and ignore the alarm. The SWAT team will not rush out and chase you down. This exit is also appropriate for large crowds exiting during rush hour.

 

There are often people too poor to afford a Metrocard waiting outside the gates, relying upon the kindness of strangers to make their fare. As a gesture of courtesy, you may choose to swipe one of these people in on your way out of a station. If you have an unlimited Metrocard, it is a cost-free charitable act. That said, you would be wise to avoid giving away swipes in the presence of cops. They may not always appreciate your charitable acts of kindness.

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