Speaking of stepping on people, cool it with the flat tires, fellow fast-talking fast walkers! Treading on someone’s heel once is an accident. Doing it repeatedly is fucked. If the person walking in front of you is shuffling along too slowly for your pleasure, move into one of the faster lanes. Contrary to what you may think, when you separate a foot from its shoe, the wearer must actually stop to put it back on, defeating your ultimate goal of moving faster. So, although it can be very humorous to watch, avoid clipping someone’s biscuits, fast walkers.
That said, two to tango, you short-stoppers: You risk the loss of life, limb, and Louboutin if you come to a screeching halt in the middle of a lane of fast-moving traffic. Don’t even say shit about it, either, you bitch-ass bitch, if people moving in both directions clip you on the way. If you want to stand around like some slack-jawed gawker while you decide what mysteries the universe holds in store for you, New York City is not gonna stand still and hold your hair. Move, you asshat. We have things to do. Important, fashiony things.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
This may well be the most important subway-riding literature you will ever read. Because riding the subway correctly requires much more knowledge than simply descending a staircase, swiping a card, and entering the train.
No comments:
Post a Comment